lol..

So he really didn't talk to me the whole day today, plus more since its 2 a.m. What is this supposed to mean? I mean, I texted him twice and called him twice, no response, and I think he ignored my calls I have a feeling he's starting to get too caught up with his friends and he's doesn't really give a shit about me. I mean really though, if he thought about me or missed me in any way, he would of said SOMETHING to me, but he didn't. I'm not really surprised this happened so soon, he did it last year, of course he's gonna do it again this year. But of course when you love/care about someone it, it's nice for them to love/care about you back, but when they don't or stop, it hurts. It makes me feel like, shit. Like am I not good enough for you to love/care about? Well, long distance relationships aren't made to last anyway. I remember last year, we spoke to each other so little that it was WEIRD actually seeing him, I wouldn't even kiss him in the beginning, cause we drifted apart from each other so much, it was like, are you REALLY my boyfriend? I don't really know how to explain it..but I have a hunch that this year, it's really not going to work out. I mean it's only been ONE WEEK, and we're already drifting apart. It's definitely not gonna happen..

On a happier note, I watched Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs and Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself today. Both good movies! I recommend both of them. CWACOM was inspiring to me lol, I mean, that guy, Flint, he kept on making his inventions despite being made fun of and how terrible his inventions were. He never gave up, he had moments where he's just not sure, but he was motivated in the end. It takes a lot of strength to do that. Even though he's just a made up character, I really learned from him, I guess that's one of the morals in the movie? TPICDBABM was also extremely inspiring, it made me laugh, it made me cry. Gosh, it was one good ass movie. What I got from this movie was, you can't be selfish and think about yourself all the time, there's a lot of people out there that needs your love and whatever you can give them. It's rewarding to not be selfish. I'm noticing that I'm slowly changing, I see the world differently now, I'm seeing things from a different angle, things this angle looks a lot brighter, makes me a happier person actually. I'm beginning to love myself, beginning to accept myself for who I am, beginning to express my true opinions and not just made up lies to please other people. I like this. :) I'm happy.

love, Nancy

P.S. I got some of the pictures from the photoshoot my family and I did in China. Here's two of them I really like:

that's my mom and my sister in the first one and my dad and my sister in the second one.